It's a Frog's Life
by The Disappeared
Summary: It's the end of the school year, and Hermione is bored. That is, until she gets turned into a frog by one Draco Malfoy! As punishment, he too is turned into a frog. There a lots of frogs in this fic, as you can see! NOT DH!
1. Chapter 1

Unfortunately all of this belongs to the brilliant JK Rowling, I don't own a thing.

Hermione was bored. Everyone else was fine, Ron was corresponding with Fleur, and Harry, shockingly enough, was going out with Ginny. Everyone was so wrapped up in their own love lives that they had completely forgotten about her. She had broken up with Viktor months ago, and wanted a boyfriend again. The problem was, no one seemed to want her for a girlfriend. Luckily, it was only a few weeks before summer vacation, and she'd soon be home at her parent's house where she could find herself a muggle boyfriend. Maybe she would go with her neighbor, Neal. She sighed, and then headed downstairs to her first class of the day, potions.

Draco hated Hermione. Hated her for her looks, hated her for being smart, but mostly he just hated her for being alive! She was such an annoying little nerd…she actually made him have to study for the top grades in potions class, where only a Slytherin should be able to get such high grades. That's why Malfoy had a plan.

It would be so funny he…he couldn't think about it anymore, or else he'd start giggling. Draco knew that giggling was not a manner befitting a Malfoy, but, nonetheless, it was a trait he possessed, and tried to keep hidden from others. But it would be soooo funny to see Hermione at lunch. Malfoy let out a high-pitched giggle at the very thought but quickly turned it into a cough. He scowled at the students passing by in the hallway, just in case they'd heard. He scowled once more for good measure, and then headed to potions.

Hermione set her things down at a table between Harry and Ron. Immediately after they sat down though, Harry began drawing a picture that, she supposed, was meant to represent Ginny, and Ron began composing a letter to "the love of his life."

Malfoy walked in, smirking slightly, and sat down directly behind Hermione, Crabbe and Goyle flanking him. The noise in the dungeons instantly diminished as Snape walked inside.

"Today we will be preparing strength potions. You will need: eye of newt, heart of lion, and one more ingredient. Can anyone tell me what the ingredient is?" Snape asked. Hermione began waving her hand wildly in the air.

"Anyone but Miss Granger." The class sat baffled, and Hermione's hand was the only one raised. "Miss Granger," Snape said reluctantly.

"Frogs legs," Hermione replied. Right after the words left her mouth, a transformation began. First, her skin was tinged green and became slick. Her legs grew beefy, and her fingers grew webbing. Abruptly as it had come, the transformation stopped.

The class was silent, unmoving, staring at Hermione. She looked like a morph between herself and a frog, the same size, with the same hair color, but undeniably frog-like. The silence lasted for half a minute. Hermione's throat bulged out, and a noise emerged.

"Ribbit."

Needless to say, there was no class that day.

Draco was pleased with the results of his spell. He had not meant to leave Hermione half human, but had been forced to cut the transformation short when Potter turned to look at him. Personally, Draco thought that the half-human element made the transformation all the better. No one would ever find out who was the mastermind behind the spell, and there was no known antidote for the spell. He knew because he'd researched the spell himself in his father's library.

A tawny owl fluttered up to him, holding a piece of parchment in its claws. Draco scowled, and ripped the paper from the owl. It read, "Draco Malfoy, you are wanted in the Headmaster's office at once. The password is cockroach clusters."

With a rapidly beating heart, Draco embarked on the long trek to the Headmaster's office.

Headmaster Dumbledore sat at his desk with a dilemma on his hands. In front of him sat Hermione, crouching in a very frog-like position. The spell had given her much of the same impulses that a frog would have. She could only eat insects, and could not speak or, much to her horror, read the human language. Luckily, Dumbledore was fluent in over 1000 different languages, including frog. Unfortunately, he was the only one that spoke it, except for other frogs, and he couldn't be with Hermione all the time. He leaned down to Hermione and began speaking.

(A/N everything in italics is the frog language. Frog to frog has no italics.)

_"Hello Hermione. I understand you haven't been having the best of days," said Dumbledore._

_"No I haven't, and I HATE being a frog!" Hermione croaked back._

_"Tell you what I'll do. I'll let you witness the punishment I give to the person who did this to you. I trust, being as smart as you are, that you know there is no known cure for this," said Dumbledore._

_"Yes, I know," said Hermione, tears flowing unchecked now._

At that moment, Malfoy walked in, Professor McGonagall at his side.

"Ah good, you came! Lemon drop?" Dumbledore offered.

"Of course," said Malfoy greedily, popping the sweet into his mouth.

"Now, Draco, were you the one who transformed Miss. Hermione here?"

"Yes," said Malfoy. "Hey, you put truth serum on this!" At this statement, Professor McGonagall exited the room.

"I'm sorry Mr. Malfoy, but we had to be sure," said Dumbledore. "Now, I typically expel students for this, and snap their wands. However, in this case, I will make an exception. I already have the Ministry's permission, and you father's as well, though he gave it grudgingly. You really have no other choice. However, to make things good and legal, you must sign this contract."

Malfoy sighed and flipped his blond locks away, picking up the contract and regarding it with bored steely eyes. However, as he read further into the document, his eyes grew worried.

"Sir," Malfoy said, "You can't be serious?"

"I am all too serious Draco. It's this or a snapped wand. Ever since Hagrid's new job, he has been asking me to get a new gamekeeper, so he can devote more time to his teaching. The slot is open if you wish to take-"

"No sir, I'll do it!" Malfoy interrupted, quickly scribbling his name down on the contract.

"Very well Draco. Drink this pumpkin juice."

Draco paled slightly, but steadied himself, and downed the drink in one gulp.

The Headmaster sat back in his chair and watched the potion do its job. He hated doing this, but it was the only alternative. As planned, a very frog-like version of Draco now sat in the chair in front of him.

Draco's throat bulged and a noise very reminiscent of potions class emerged.

"Ribbit."


	2. Chapter 2

Everything's J.K. Rowling's, I own nothing. Forget about the italic thing I said last chapter, I don't know what I was thinking!

* * *

"Now listen closely you two," said Dumbledore. "I know you both have your differences, but you will have to get along. I have set aside an empty classroom for you, and had the Weasley twins make it into a frog's paradise. Once a week, starting today, your friends will be permitted to come visit you for about an hour and I will translate. Come along."

Hermione and Draco hopped off their chairs, and bounded behind Dumbledore, drawing stares from many students in the hall.

"Ah, here we are!" said Dumbledore, unlocking the room and shooing the two frogs inside.The room buzzed with flies, and there was a lily pond at one end, about the size of a pool. Grass coated the floor, and a few dragonflies darted about." Colin, Fred, Ron, George, and Harry all sat on a wooden bench beside the pond.

"Aw, little Malfoy doesn't have any friends," Hermione teased.

"Of course not, Slytherins don't have friends, we're too devious and cunning for that."

The conversation began with Dumbledore translating.

"Gee Hermione, are you sick? You look rather green," Fred said jokingly.

"Very funny,"croaked Hermione.

"Are you okay Hermione?" asked Ron worriedly.

"Fine, except for the being a frog thing."

"Malfoy," Harry spoke up, "if you lay one webbed finger on her I swear-"

"Tut, tut Potter, " Malfoy interrupted. "Still protective of your froggy friend?"

Colin began snapping pictures of Malfoy and his surroundings.

"Make one move against my - - our Hermione, and I'll make sure these find their way to the Slytherin table," said Ron.

"Okay, okay." croaked Malfoy. "Besides, why would I want to mess with her? Becoming a frog hasn't changed her looks any."

"Now Draco, I feel that was uncalled for. Apologize to your classmate," Dumbledore cut in.

"Fine, sorry," Malfoy said, obviously not sorry in the least

"We need to get to class now, but we'll be here next time," said George. "Bye!"

Professor McGonagall seemingly appeared out of nowhere to escort the students to their next class. Dumbledore also waved farewell, and exited the room, leaving Draco and Hermione by themselves.

"Why'd you do this to me?" Hermione asked, opening up the conversation rather bluntly.

"Because you are too smart for your own good. Darn it, that truth serum hasn't worn off yet! Don't ask me anymore questions if you like living."

"Fine, it was just an accident. Thanks for the compliment though."

"I'm going to get away from you before you contaminate me," said Draco.

"Oooo, Malfoy. How reminiscent of 4th grade! Still scared of cooties are we?"

"Yeah, right," was Malfoy's only reply, as he hopped off towards the pond.

Hermione also hopped away to go inspect her new living quarters, and maybe catch a few flies along the way. There appeared to be a path circling the room, and Hermione followed it. In the meadow, there was a small shelter big enough for two people, or in their case, frogs. There weren't any walls, just a roof. She hopped onward, and found herself in a marshy area, sort of boggy and squishy with an inch or two of water. Yet again, a shelter appeared in the middle of the marsh. Bounding away again, she headed towards the lily pond. Malfoy was swimming agitatedly in the crystalline water, swimming back and forth, as if he were pacing. At the surface of the pond there were two **HUGE** lily pads, about as big as a large rug. They were lined with petals, and Hermione presumed that they were to serve as beds. All of a sudden, Hermione realized that Professor Dumbledore was standing right beside her!

"How long have you been standing there?" she asked him.

"Oh, not long. I just dropped by to explain a few more things to you. I trust you will tell Mr. Malfoy in due time. First of all, look at the ceiling."

Hermione glanced up, and was shocked to see not stone, but sky!

"I spelled it like the Great Hall. It will reflect the sky as it appears outside. However, unlike the hall, it will also reflect the temperature, and the elements. It will get breezy, rainy, and possibly snowy. Don't worry; we won't let anything happen to you. To escape the elements, simply head to one of the shelters." With that, Professor Dumbledore left.

"Oh great," Hermione said, the frog side of her shivering from the mention of "snow." She glanced up at the sky again, and noticed it was dusk. "Time flies when you're a frog, and speaking of flies, it's time for dinner." She hopped over to the pond, where the flies were the thickest, and began her feast of bugs.

* * *

"Will my father accept me as a frog?" Malfoy had been pondering that all day, and had finally come to the conclusion that, no; his father would not want an embarrassing amphibious son hopping around his stylish mansion. A realization hit him like a thunderclap. If his father disowned him, that meant he could do as he wished! "No more Pansy Parkinson!" Draco sang, bounding around in a froggy dance which looked like a mix between the Macarena, and the Cha-cha-cha. After several minutes of dancing, Draco slumped to the ground, panting. His stomach growled. Time for supper!

* * *

Okay, I realize that the Fleur/Ron thing last chapter was kind of weird, but I couldn't think of anything else. The only other female characters I like are Ginny Weasley, and Professor McGonagall, and we couldn't have that, now could we! Thanks to all my reviewers…reading your reviews is going to make me conceited! 


	3. Chapter 3

Okay…to all those who were expecting a DHr fanfic, I apologize. Actually, that's what the original plan was, until I got a call from my godparents saying that I was to not let Draco get together with Hermione. Instead they wanted Harry to get with Hermione. We compromised, and the rest of the story is the result of that. Personally, I think it's turning out better than the original! (No, Hermione will not be getting with Harry)

I don't own anything. It's all JK Rowling's.

* * *

"Ouch!" Hermione cried as she ran, or rather, hopped into Draco. She lay where she landed, in the soft mud by the pond.

"Watch where you're going, Granger!" After a long silence, Draco asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, but what about you? Are you sick or something? Maybe I should get my hearing checked, but I swear I just heard you ask me if I was all right!"

"Is there a law that says all Malfoys must be evil death eaters?" Malfoy asked. "Besides, you're always yammering about something or another. AND you weren't moving. I just didn't want to be taken away to Azkaban for killing you. I don't want to murder you until I'm out of school!"

"Oh thanks!" Hermione said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Where'd you learn to do that?" Draco asked, his voice filled with awe.

"Do what?"

"Talk like that. You sounded as if…as if…as if you were a Malfoy! You had the drawl and the sarcasm down, and everything!" Draco cried.

"Is there a law that all muggle-born witches aren't allowed to be sarcastic!"

"Well…not exactly."

"Then why so surprised? And, is it just my imagination, or did you actually sound worried! Scared of a little competition?" Hermione teased. "Of course not. Malfoys aren't afraid of anything, are they?"

"Well…no, we aren't scared of anything?"

"And do mine ears deceive me, or has Draco Malfoy not recognized sarcasm?"

After a long baffled silence, Hermione took pity on the shell-shocked Malfoy, and set about meeting her stomach's numerous requests. After she had eaten 20-30 flies, and a nice crispy dragonfly, Draco seemed to recover his powers of speech.

"You know, there's more to you than meets the eye."

"As I always say," Hermione mumbled through a mouthful of flies, "never judge a book by its cover!"

"Anyway, this is strictly off the record, but, I'm sorry for turning you into a frog. When we get out of this mess, would you like to be friends?" Draco ventured.

"Sure," Hermione said sleepily. "But now it's time for bed." She hopped into the pond, and sliced through its cool, soothing waters, until she reached her pad. She climbed into it, and let the waters' rocking lull her into a deep sleep.

Draco lay awake, long into the night, tossing and turning in his snug lily pad. He couldn't stop thinking about his new freedom. If he were truly free of Pansy…did that mean that he was free to choose any girlfriend he pleased? For he had one in mind. She wasn't much to look at, but she shared his love, and was kind to animals, and very intelligent…more so than she let on. Millicent. The pond seemed to call out to him, and each surge of the water sounded as if it were saying, "Millicent, Millicent, Millicent." He listened to the water until he fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Okay, this is the last chapter. Sorry that things went by kind of quickly, I'm not really good at long stories. Thanks to Solana 13 and NttyNight for helping me out, and being sooo supportive. And thank you to the two reviewers I don't know, Kuo and Lirimaer Elearie for daring to read the first chapter. This chapter is kinda speedy, but I was not inspired when I wrote it. Since I just edited it, I hope it's better, but I don't know. Please please please hit the little blue/purpley button that says go and give me a review! 15 reviews are VERY depressing, especially for all my hard work and effort. I'll give you froggy plushies!

I extend my deepest sympathies (and some of my money) towards the victims of hurricanes, especially the most recent one…Katrina.

No, I don't own anything. JK Rowling owns everything, and I'm soooo grateful for that 'cause I could never write under pressure.

* * *

Hermione stretched her arms sleepily as she shook off the last vestiges (A/N big word – yay!) of sleep. To her surprise, she found that the lily pad was moving towards the shore.

"Of course," she thought. "It's enchanted, just like everything else around here."

As it beached itself, Hermione crawled out and looked for signs of Draco.

"He's not here."

Hermione jumped three feet in the air, and whirled around to see Professor Dumbledore's kind eyes looking at her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. He's in the shelter at the marsh with his visitor," Dumbledore said. "And you have a visitor, too. Unfortunately, I won't be available to translate, as I must settle a matter, but you can show your visitor around if you like. He's waiting for you in the shelter at the meadow."

Curious, Hermione immediately bounded over to the shelter, to see who her visitor was. A flash of red hair met her eyes. It was Ron, her best friend, loyal supporter, and – her long time crush. However, Ron thought of her as his friend, and no more, and Hermione was too afraid to ruin there friendship by telling him her feelings. So, when Krum had taken an interest in her, she went with him, hoping to spur Ron into action by playing on his jealousy. This brilliant plan had fallen through though, as soon after she and Krum hooked up, Ron and Fleur became an item. Hermione had given up vying for Ron's affections ever since. With competition like Fleur, there was no competition.

Ron muttered something. Hermione croaked in response. She couldn't understand him, nor could he understand her, but it was nice to hear his voice. He spoke again and blushed. She croaked and nodded, playing along, letting him think he was actually having a conversation with her. Ron blushed an even deeper shade of red, and then, suddenly, unexpectedly, he kissed her. For a moment, she pulled away, shocked, but then she kissed him back, letting him pull her into his embrace.

"I love you Hermione," he murmured into her ear.

"I love you too, Ron," she replied. "Wait!"

"What?"

"I understood you!" Hermione cried. "That means…"

"The spell is broken," Ron said, amazed. "You're human again."

"But what about Fleur?" Hermione asked.

"Who?" Ron replied, kissing her once more.

"Oh! This is just like a soap opera! They're such a cute couple!" someone cried.

"Shush Millicent," a deeper voice came.

"Oh, all right Draco," Millicent replied.

"Draco!" Hermione asked. "You're human too?"

"Well, of course. Did you think I was going to be a frog forever? True love's kiss **IS** the standard cure for most spells."

"So…you knew about this all along?" Hermione asked.

"No, of course not." Draco replied.

"But we sure figured it out fast!" Millicent said, giggling slightly.

"Come on, Millicent. Let's go and leave these two love birds to sort things out on their own."

"Yes, and we have some sorting of our own to do too, Draco." The couple walked away.

"Now…where were we?" asked Ron.

* * *

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